Irreconcilable antipathy arising between the parties to a
marriage is not merely a lack of love for one's spouse but an antipathy which
cannot be resolved. It is for the Spiritual Assembly to decide whether this
condition exists before it sets the date for the beginning of the year of
waiting, and this it may do on the application of one of the parties. It is not
affected by the other party's not wishing to apply for a divorce.
The date for the beginning of the year of waiting having
been fixed, it is the obligation of the parties to make every effort to
reconcile their differences and to try to preserve the marriage. The Spiritual
Assembly has the obligation to offer them every assistance in this regard ...
Obviously, seeking the assistance of one's Spiritual
Assembly is a part of the Bahá'í divorce procedure, and the parties concerned
should consult with the Assembly about their problems. It is within the
discretion of the parties, or either of them, to also avail themselves of
professional marriage counsellors.
(From a letter dated 12 July 1979 written on
behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer; The
Compilation of Compilations, vol. I, Preserving Baha’i Marriages)
