Another fundamental principle that should influence a Bahá’í’s understanding of and approach to the requirement to be obedient to parents is the exhortation to consult in all things. According to ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, consultation is, in fact, “one of the fundamental elements of the foundation of the Law of God.” If, through consultation, a child and parent can deepen their understanding of each other’s viewpoint and achieve unity of thought and purpose, then conflicts over obedience can be avoided.
With respect to your discussion of the relationship between obedience to parents on the one hand and individual self-expression, freedom, and spiritual growth on the other, the House of Justice suggests an alternative understanding for your consideration. Although individual persons are responsible for their own actions and spiritual development, individuals do not exist in isolation, but as parts of families and communities. Deciding to forgo one’s personal wishes in deference to one’s parents—or to the institutions of the Faith, civil authorities, or the law for that matter—represents an expression of free will, not a curtailment of it. By choosing to obey, a child can contribute to unity of the family and thereby further the Cause of God.
- The Universal House of Justice (From a letter dated 24 September 1997 written on behalf of Universal House of Justice to an individual believer; compilation: ‘Family Life’, prepared by the Research Department of the Universal House of Justice, revised March 2008)
